I Find Peace
by batfangirl
Summary: We all have someone to go to for comfort.  Why shouldn't Batman?  After all, he's human too.  R&R
1. Chapter 1

**A. /N. This is a one-shot that I can up with when I was on my way home. I was reading a Batman Begins/Dark Knight fanfic when one of my favorite songs started playing on my iPod. While I read and listened, I began to think. **_**What is his outlet for the pain he witnesses night after night? **_**As the thought crossed my mind, one of the lyrics in the song caught my attention. **_**I find peace.**_** The name of the song that inspired this story will be mentioned at the bottom of the page. (Just to keep you in suspense.) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Batman Begins/ Dark Knight. Then again, neither do you.**

Few will ever experience the pain and suffering I have. Even fewer will ever witness the destruction of innocent lives and souls. Sometimes, I wonder whether or not there ever was a time that the world was peaceful.

My mind is tainted with images of pain like a bride's pure white wedding dress is tainted by spilled wine. Once it has been exposed, it can never return to its original state. It is one thing for a man of my age to experience this. It is another thing entirely for an eight year old boy to experience… much like me.

My parents' murder was my first taste of reality. It was my first view of the real world. The world of splendor that I had been raised in, the world of kindness, was forever marred with the brutality of the mugger that shot my parents to death. Never again would I be the same. Rarely would I ever smile. Never again would I let someone into my life.

However, aren't all rules made to be broken? After years and years of training my body and mind, after the countless hours of humiliation in my training, after closing my mind to all emotion…I still allowed myself to love. My best friend, Rachel, was the victim of my love. Victim, because of the danger I presented to her. I always believed that I could protect her. For heaven's sake I was Batman! I was billionaire Bruce Wayne! I could have hired a hundred body guards…but that madman, the Joker, still would have gotten to her. Besides, she would hate all of the attention of having body guards.

She never accepted the other half of me either. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. We were walking through what had remained of Wayne Manor after it had been burned to the ground by Ra's al Ghul and his League of Shadows. The entire Wayne legacy lay in ashes and ruin. That was the day that she had first kissed me. For those few seconds, I believed that everything was going perfectly. Then, Rachel explained to me that she couldn't accept the Batman side of me, and my world was thrown into darkness once again. It didn't help that just a few months later she was killed because of the Joker.

Yes, I had experienced pain and loss. _Never again,_ I had thought, _will I love another._ I just couldn't be as selfish as to taking a creature so precious and bringing her into my world of darkness and bitterness.

At least, that's what I used to believe.

_What's this? _You're thinking. _Has he gone against his word again?_ You see, it's a little simpler than that. I have simply done away with my silly rules; with the help of Lizzy of course.

Elizabeth Scarlet (Wayne now). Now there's a woman that you don't meet every day. She's my "true love", my "other half", my "one and only", all of that cliché stuff. We first met in a hospital room. After the whole fiasco with Harvey Dent and the Gordons, it seemed that my body was just too damaged for Alfred to properly assess without injuring me further. Therefore, a very awkward visit to the E.R. was required…

_Flashback_

_The cover story was that I had taken a bad fall during one of my spelunking expeditions when my cable snapped. Thankfully, Alfred had managed to remove the bullet from my chest beforehand. That would have been difficult to explain to not only the hospital staff, but to the press as well. How do you make up a story about suddenly having a bullet in your chest while spelunking? You don't. It's impossible even for the Batman._

_The E.R. was crowded with people, but we moved through the crowd quickly due to my state of health being far worse than most of the others there. While I was being rolled on the gurney through the hallways, I could feel every eye in the rooms staring at me…uncomfortably. I stared in pain at the florescent hospital lights glaring down at me. Where's a morphine drip when you need one? Several bumps over miniscule imperfections in the floor later, I was wheeled into a sterile white operation room._

_Several needles and tubes were poked into my body. I even briefly caught a glimpse of the morphine drip. _

_As they began to tear my clothing off (Alfred had changed me into the proper spelunking equipment as well.), I couldn't help but think, _What will they think about the scars? _Just because I wear a Kevlar suit doesn't mean I'm not prone to injury every one and while. I can't always be protected by knives and bullets._

_Although my foggy mind saw the silent shock on the surgeons' faces, one gasp caught my attention. I wearily rolled my head to the right only to look into a pair of beautiful green eyes. I gasped in a small bought of pain as I felt another needle be shoved into my arm. This time, however, I felt drowsy. It must have been a sedative._

_My eyelids began to droop and my vision became blurry. Every time I opened my eyes I felt like I was looking in a steam filled mirror. Every time I blinked it became harder for me to reopen my eyes._

_The last thing I hear before drifting into total unconsciousness was a soft voice saying, "You're going to be just fine."_

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

_It turns out that the green-eyed beauty was to be my nurse after my surgery. When I woke up, she was there checking my IV. I took her moment of distraction to look over her features. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a casual yet professional bun with her nurse's hat on top of her head. I noticed that her hair wasn't bleached, which is a plus in my book, but just lightly highlighted to keep its natural luster. She had long eyelashes to frame her emerald green eyes. Her brows were pulled together in a way that suggested she was concentrating on something intensely. Strangely this pleased me- that she was concentrating on me. Her full lips were parted just slightly. She wore little make-up, but she didn't need it. Her natural beauty was enough._

_Turning away from her heart shaped face, I noticed that she was slender – not too skinny like those anorexic movies stars that I pretend to date. Her skin was very light with just a hint of a natural tan to it. Hmm, she must like the indoors._

_I turned my eyes back to her face just as she looked at me. A small gasp emitted from her lips and a look of shock washed over her face before falling in relief._

"_Good afternoon Mr. Wayne. I'm your nurse, Elizabeth Scarlet, but you can call me Lizzy," she said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"_

_I thought about her question. It could be taken two ways: physically and emotionally. Physically I was sore and my right arm felt extremely stiff – probably due to the cast it was in – but I would live. Emotionally…my mind was shot. All I can remember is killing Harvey Dent. I broke my one permanent rule: to not kill. It was an accident, but it still doesn't change the fact that my actions cost another's life, and that was unacceptable._

"_I feel…" I struggled for the word to describe my physical and mental wellbeing without making her suspicious, "overwhelmed."_

_She let the clipboard that she was holding clatter onto the table next to my hospital bed and sat down on the edge of a chair. "I'd say you do!" she agreed, "It's nerve-wracking to have you wire snap when you're spelunking. Although I've never been spelunking so I wouldn't know." She smiled sheepishly, blushed a light pink, and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from her bun behind her ear._

_For some reason I found that undeniably cute. Huh, who would've thought? The Batman thinks a blushing girl is cute. I could really get to like this girl…_

_End Flashback_

She was always there to comfort me when she discovered my secret. She still is. And tonight, it appears she will have to again. I feel like I weigh her down with all of my problems, but I can't help it! She's addicting, like my own personal drug. However, unlike other drugs, with her I find peace.

**A./N. Like it? Hate it? Let me know! Also, the song that I was listening to when I came up with this little plot bunny is called **_**At Your Feet**_** by Casting Crowns. It's a beautiful song! You should listen to it sometime =) This is where I say adieu! Please review!**


	2. Important AN!

**A./N. Sorry but this isn't an update to this story. It's still a one-shot. However, the background story to I Find Peace is finally up and ready for reading! I know that I didn't exactly say that there would be a background story, but like some of you have told me, this story needed one. It's called Knightfall so feel free to read it whenever you want! ;)**


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